I met my now husband when I was 26 years old, and we quickly fell in love. He was upfront about having kids from a previous relationship, which initially made me a bit nervous as I had always planned to be child-free. However, as our relationship progressed, I saw that he was a responsible and caring parent, which eased my concerns. He also shared with me that he didn’t have legal documentation, but that didn’t bother me as I have reservations about the US immigration system.
During our dating phase, everything seemed to be going well. He took excellent care of his children, cooked for me after my school and work commitments, maintained a clean house, and made romantic gestures like buying me flowers and listening to my stories about grad school. However, things began to change after we got married and I moved in with him.
I decided to quit my part-time job since we could manage on his salary combined with my assistant ship income from grad school. Meanwhile, he wanted to start a business, so I ended up setting it up under my name due to his citizenship status. I took on most of the administrative work for the business, including paperwork and financial tasks, which I initially didn’t mind, despite the additional workload and the need to handle sensitive personal information.
As time went on, our relationship started shifting in a different direction. He became resistant and upset when I asked for help with household chores or cleaning, using the excuse that he worked hard during the day and did some yard work.
I reminded him that I also worked and contributed to the household chores, but he would fall silent, and nothing would change. He stopped taking the initiative to go on dates or buy me flowers and drinks, except when I specifically requested it. He also became less involved as a responsible parent to his children. These changes have been exacerbated since we bought and moved into our house.
I can’t help but feel used and taken for granted. Furthermore, he has started acting entitled to my body, making inappropriate comments like “I bought you” or “but we’re married.” Whenever I express my discomfort, he dismisses it as a joke, despite my insistence that it’s not funny.
He has also become disinterested in what I have to say, no longer listening to my rants or showing enthusiasm for my passions. Even when I share something about my beloved pets, he dismisses it with comments like “it’s just a cat/snake,” which is a departure from how he used to respond.
This situation leaves me questioning whether he is using me or if this is just what being a wife entails. The fact that there is a small chance I might be pregnant further complicates matters. I feel like things are progressively worsening, and I’m unsure of what steps to take.
