I am a 27-year-old man who is getting married next year to my 25-year-old fiancée, the love of my life. We met in 2019 when my family was going through a tough time. At that time, I was living with my aunt, who is in her 40s.
My mom was the one taking care of the expenses for the house, such as the mortgage, groceries, and pool maintenance. My aunt was dating a man who didn’t seem to care about her at all. He would come over twice a week and spend his time playing video games. My aunt would often ask me for advice on how to change him or what to do about their relationship. I honestly told her that he was unlikely to change and that she should consider moving on before getting too involved.
Eventually, my aunt ended things with him and went through a period of sadness. I encouraged her to focus on taking care of herself and her dog, whom she had neglected during her relationship. After a few months, she started dating again. I asked her not to involve me in her dating life because I didn’t think those relationships would last, and I didn’t want to waste my time or interact with people who wouldn’t be a part of my life. She had various strange individuals coming to our house, but I didn’t mind as long as they kept to themselves.
Things took a turn when my aunt started using cocaine. Suddenly, she wanted me to interact with her new partners, which I refused. One of her recent ex-boyfriends, whom she met at a psychiatric ward, began staying at our house along with his brother. They ended up staying for nearly three months. Concerned for my safety, I took precautions like changing the doorknob on my bedroom door and avoiding spending time in the house. My girlfriend rarely stayed over, but when she did, I would wake up early to ensure her safety when leaving.
My aunt started hosting numerous parties at our house and tried to force me to cook and clean up after her guests, which I refused to do. One night, during a cocaine binge, she banged on my door and demanded respect. I stood my ground and told her to leave me alone.
The next morning, she arranged a family meeting, but instead of it being just her and me, she invited her boyfriend and his brother. During the meeting, I expressed that I didn’t feel safe in my own home and that they shouldn’t be staying there all the time. However, my aunt compared her boyfriend and his brother to my fiance, saying that my aunt had welcomed her with open arms when she first came to our house. I found this comparison unfair, as my fiancee is a polite, kind-hearted person, while these individuals had criminal records.
When my mom learned about my aunt’s drug use and other behaviors, she returned from her work as a nurse and decided to kick everyone out of the house. My aunt lashed out with hateful words towards me and my mother.
As I had been paying for the Wi-Fi in the house, I shut it off when I moved out to prevent them from benefiting from my expenses. My aunt even threatened to call the police on my mom for stealing property. Following these events, my aunt lost the support of everyone except my mom, who is a very selfless person and always willing to help others.
Last July, one of my other aunts, whom I was close to, passed away. My cocaine-using aunt saw this as an opportunity to turn her life around and claimed to have gotten clean. She ended her relationship with the convict and appeared to be improving. My mom moved out and bought her own house, inviting my aunt to live with her to help her move on from the past. Unfortunately,
Unfortunately, my aunt’s behavior took a negative turn once again. She started trashing and ruining my mom’s beautiful house, which was meant to be a place for gatherings and happiness. She brought her dog, who looked visibly worse for wear due to neglect and mistreatment.
This dog, who used to be playful and full of life, became depressed, emaciated, and lethargic under her care. Additionally, she brought a cat, despite her dislike for cats, that her ex-boyfriend had left at her house. It was clear that she wasn’t taking care of herself or her animals.
Now, my aunt is taking advantage of my mother’s kindness. My mom, who bought the moving truck that transported all of my aunt’s belongings, is now feeling exhausted and resentful. My aunt continues to ask my mom what’s for dinner every night, showing a lack of appreciation for all that my mom has done for her. It’s evident that my aunt has become a burden and is causing emotional strain on my mom.
Recently, my mom and I had a discussion about wedding plans while having dinner with my brother, his wife, and my fiancée. My mom later saw the seating chart we had created, and she noticed that my aunt’s name was not included. This upset my mom, and she burst into tears. I had previously expressed to my mom that I didn’t want my aunt at my wedding, and she had reacted similarly.
Despite my mom’s plea for me to reconsider, I firmly believe that what my aunt did was unforgivable, and I want to distance myself from her. I hold no ill will towards her, but I feel nothing for her at all. I rarely even think about her unless someone brings her up. I cannot tolerate inconsistency and instability in my life, especially now that things are going great and my fiancee is my rock, supporting me through both highs and lows.
It pains me to see my mom upset, but I must remain firm in my decision. I cannot compromise my happiness and well-being for someone who has caused so much turmoil and harm. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to start a new chapter with my fiancee, and I want it to be filled with positivist and surrounded by those who genuinely care for us.
