Embarking on relationships is not always easy. You start out as strangers, you know each other, and then you decide if you like each other enough to be together. But sometimes, there are strong reasons for not staying in that relationship.
According to Susan T. Bett, the person you choose to spend your life with can even determine what you will achieve in your professional life. The right partner makes all the difference. It is always difficult to decide when to leave versus when to stay and solve the problem – your emotions make it difficult to be objective.
However, there are times when you simply need to let go and walk away from the relationship. Such time may be:
1. When the other has no interest in compromise, while for you it is something important
Why be with someone who doesn’t want to commit to you? Maybe they will change their minds, but you won’t be able to change them. If you are interested in marriage and they are not, it probably won’t happen. You must find someone who wants to commit to you and the relationship.
2. Any type of abuse is present – verbal, physical or sexual
Any form of abuse directed at you or a child should never be accepted. Nobody deserves to be treated in an abusive way, even if the abuser says that it is their fault. To belittle, curse, beat, control, manipulate, and anything else that makes you feel less than you are, is abuse.
Even within a marriage, if you do not consent to having sex and end up being forced to do so, it is sexual abuse. Ask your family or friends for help to get out of this situation. If necessary, find a shelter for the victims. Abuse of any kind is never acceptable.
3. There is a major character flaw
If your companions are addicted to drugs, have problems with alcoholism, have been in the habit of cheating in the past or are currently cheating, or have the terrible and constant habit of lying, you may wish to run away from it. If they are willing to solve the problem with professional help, reconsider the relationship only after they have really changed.
4. There is excessive jealousy and lack of confidence for no reason
If they are jealous of you talking to other people, they keep your movement in check with respect to your friendships, your time away from home is monitored or you have no privacy (phones, diaries, computer etc.), it can be an immense sign that you are not in a good relationship. Relationships require trust. You cannot base a relationship on jealousy and distrust.
5. You’re always trying to fix something your partner
Most times, the only person you can change is you. So, if you think you can enter or stay in a relationship and change your partners, you are wrong. Only if they want to change will they really try to change. If something difficult needs to be fixed, you will be much better out of that relationship.
The following cases don’t have to be the last straw in your relationship. Take some time to work on them before giving up.
1. When you are going through a difficult phase
All strong relationships go through difficult situations. There is no relationship without challenges or difficulties. What matters is how you and your partner handle the situation. Work together to improve your relationship as you overcome difficulties.
2. A big fight
If it wasn’t for something bigger, work on it, forgive, apologize and go ahead together. A fight does not mean that it is over. Couples may fight but resolving the issue amicably is what matters. Try and find out what your partner is like, study eachother and know how best to handle disagreement so they don’t grow into big fights.
3. When the flame of romance goes out
If you see yourself more as friends than lovers, it is time to court each other as you did when you fell in love. Go out alone to date. Take a trip together – without the kids. Write love letters to each other. Buy your spouse a special gift without a reason. Hold hands, kiss frequently or, take the time to rediscover your intimate connection. These are very helpful n
In most relationships, challenges can be over-comed with hard work, love, forgiveness and excuses – as long as you work together with your spouse.
