When she was two years Nina was adopted by a loving couple, Rita and Harold Fane. Rita and Hal showered their little daughter with love and they never hid the fact that she was adopted from her.
As Nina grew up, she became spoiled and began to demand that her patents indulge her every whim. When they refused, she’d have a tantrum and scream that she wanted her REAL mother. One day, when she was 18, Rita decided to give her what she wanted…
Nina Fane was showered with love, attention, and almost everything her heart desired. Almost, because her adoptive parents felt that she was becoming spoiled and demanding.
So whenever Nina asked for $200 sneakers or a ruinously expensive designer outfit, her parents would refuse. “My REAL mother would give me that Gucci sweater!” she would scream.
“My REAL mother would let me go to Kevin’s party!” or “My REAL mother would understand me! She LOVED me!”
Every time she talked about her ‘REAL’ mother, Rita’s heart would break. She remembered the thin, big-eyed little girl they’d brought home who was unused to hugs and kisses, and afraid of the dark.
Then Nina turned 18 and was on the verge of graduating from high school. She wanted to take a gap year before college and told her parents that she intended to spend it traveling around Europe.
Nina believed that her biological mother would love her more than her adoptive parents.
When her father asked her how much money she’d saved up for her travels, Nina was indignant: “What do you mean? I thought you and mom were going to pay for it!”
Her father shook his head. “No, Nina. You are a young woman now, and it’s time you started working for what you want. Your mother and I will pay for college, of course, but your trip to Europe you’ll have to work for.”
“How could you do this to me!” she screamed, “My REAL mother wouldn’t be so cruel! She LOVED me!”
Rita had had enough. “Then I think it’s time you met your REAL mother, Nina! We will call the adoption agency today.”
The next afternoon, Nina and Rita were sitting opposite an official at the adoption agency. She opened the file in front of her. “Well, Nina, since yours was an open adoption, I can give you the information about your mother…”
“An open adoption? What does that mean?” asked Nina.
“That means that your parents agreed that if your biological mother wanted to she could have contact with you.”
“But…” Nina turned to Rita, “But she never did, did she? Why not?”
Rita shook her head. “I don’t know honey, all she had to do was contact the agency, like we are doing now. Since you were two years old, your father and I thought you might miss her…so we agreed to the open adoption.”
The official quickly wrote out a name and an address on a card. “Here is your mother’s last known address. There is, of course, no guarantee she’s still there…”
Nina looked at the address. “Mom,” she cried excitedly, “It’s an hour away! We could go there tomorrow…It’s Saturday, so I won’t be missing school…”
Rita sighed. “OK, Nina, we will go, but please, don’t expect too much…”
But Nina was glowing with confidence. “I know she loves me, I know she’ll be happy to see me! She’s my REAL mother!”
The next day Rita and Nina drove the 120 miles to the small town Nina’s biological mother had been living in. They programmed the address into the car’s GPS, and eventually pulled up in front of a ramshackle house.
Nina looked at the house dubiously. “I’m sure she’s not here anymore…”
“Probably not,” Rita said, “But she might have left a forwarding address.”
The two women walked to the door and knocked. They heard the noise of dogs barking, children’s voices, and a woman screaming. Then someone yanked open the door.
“I’m not buying!” the woman in the doorway said nastily, “So get your butts off my property!”
Rita smiled and said: “I’m sorry to disturb you, but we’re looking for Mary Finch?”
“Yeah? What do you want?” the woman asked looking Rita up and down.
“You’re Mary Finch?” asked Nina, looking in astonishment at the woman with her platinum-died hair, smeared lipstick, and too-tight dress.
“I was…I’m Mary Tyrell, now. Married that no-good loser, and took on his kids too…” At that moment, two dirty-looking children appeared, peaking around Mary’s legs curiously.
“Ma…” said one of the boys, “We’re hungry…”
Mary aimed a slap at the child who ducked it quickly. “I’m busy, can’t you see? There’s soup on the stove. EAT IT!”
“But ma,” said the other boy, “It’s cold, and the microwave is broke.”
“You’re Mary Finch?” asked Nina, looking in astonishment at the woman with her platinum-died hair, smeared lipstick, and too-tight dress.
“I was…I’m Mary Tyrell, now. Married that no-good loser, and took on his kids too…” At that moment, two dirty-looking children appeared, peaking around Mary’s legs curiously.
“Ma…” said one of the boys, “We’re hungry…”
“Eat it cold for all I care, and I ain’t your Ma! I ain’t NOBODY’s Ma!” she turned back to Rita. “So what is it you all wanted?”
Nina was tugging at Rita’s arm. “We’re so sorry to have disturbed you, Mrs. Tyrell,” Nina said quickly, “I see we’ve made a mistake. We were looking for someone with the same name…”
“You come knocking on a person’s door and it’s a mistake?” Mary screamed, “Get off my property!”
She pushed the two boys inside roughly and slammed the door closed behind her. Rita and Nina walked back to the car in total silence. Rita drove away and headed back home, while Nina sat staring at her hands.
“Mom,” Nina whispered after a while, “I’m so sorry…”
Rita glanced at Nina and saw the tears running down her face. She quickly pulled over and drew her daughter into her arms. “Honey, I know you’re disappointed…”
“Oh, mom! I was such a fool!” Nina sobbed, “All these years I kept calling that horrible woman my ‘real’ mom, but she didn’t love me, and didn’t want me, and never tried to see me…”
“Sweetie…” Rita said, but Nina interrupted her.
“Mom, she’s not my real mother, she’s not a real anything. Did you see how she treated those little boys? You are my REAL mother, mommy, dad’s my REAL father.”
Rita sobbed with joy as she held her daughter, the daughter of her heart. “Yes we are, honey, and you are our baby girl, and always will be.”
From then on, Nina never talked about her REAL mother again. She realized how lucky she’d been to have two amazing parents who loved her and cherished her and were determined to make her a good, responsible woman.
What can we learn from this story?
1. Being a mother or a father is about love, not biology. Nina believed that her biological mother would love her more than her adoptive parents and suffered a bitter disappointment.
2. Fantasy does not equal reality. Nina had built up her biological mother in her mind as a wonderful woman who loved her and would indulge her more than her adoptive parents and was confronted with a real, and very unpleasant woman.
