I have just been married for 5 years and my husband is a very good man. He understands me perfectly and I am always thankful that I am married to him. He is a selfless man and always seeks ways to make life better for our family and also for those around us. He is the first son although they are just three. His only sister is married while his only brother who happens to be the youngest is the bag of trouble in the family.
He went to school but it is as good as nothing. After he graduated from the University, he went home and nothing meaningful ever came from him. Initially he was too relaxed, I wasn’t married to his brother then but from all my husband told me, it was my husband that was persuading him to go for service and after he did, he came home directly. He didn’t stay back to look for a job. Since then he has just been in the village doing nothing. All he does is drink, smoke and keep late nights. Sometimes he will come home drunk and seek food from his mother. This continued for a long time even after I got married into the family.
This gave my husband so much worry and I was also feeling bad. He is an adult but he doesn’t act like one. It was as if everyone was tired of him including his sister. I was the one who pleaded with my husband to bring him over to where we lived so that he can change the environment and possibly find something to do. I thought was being helpful but I didn’t know that I was bringing problems to myself and my family. Initially, my husband refused, we had only one child then, our marriage was young so he kept on saying that he didn’t want anyone to be a burden to me or to change the peaceful environment we had. However, I insisted that his brother come over.
To me, I could handle him and I’ll help improve his life. Well, my husband finally agreed and asked the brother to come over. Initially it was like real war. He refused to come and stay with us, he said he loved the village and could do anything with his life but after much persuasion, he agreed to come over.
The first few weeks were terrible. All he did was eat, play loud music even when my child was sleeping and also litter the house. He never helped me to do anything and at one point it was becoming very frustrating for me. I kept complaining to my husband but he could do almost nothing. Many times he would warn his brother to behave properly but that yielded nothing. I later suggested to my husband that we look for a job for him at least he will leave for work every morning. At least he will have some sense of responsibility and even see the need to make money. We tried but it didn’t work. We got him a job through the help of a friend but he didn’t even last for two weeks and was sacked. He never went to work early. He goes to work when he feels like and for the days he went, he was very late. My husband’s friend also complained that he was unproductive and disrespectful. If you assign a task to him, it is either he doesn’t do it at all or he doesn’t do it well.
Because of this, he was contributing nothing to the company and they had no other option than to sack him. So he came home and continued with his usual lifestyle. The worst part now is that he brings in different girls even when I am around. He sleeps with them under my roof and litters condoms around. I have complained but he doesn’t listen.
He is older than me so I can’t really talk to him as I wish. I have spoken to my husband and he has threatened to send him back to the village if he continues. As much as I want him out of my house, I don’t want him to go to the village because my mother-in-law will be broken. She believes that my husband and I are the last solution to the problem of his last son. He doesn’t listen to anyone and even the thought of going back to the village doesn’t scare him. I don’t know what to do. I am honestly tired of having him in my house. I don’t feel at peace anymore. What should I do?
