We were dating when his aunt suddenly died. She had returned from abroad and was travelling to visit her mother in Akwatia when she had an accident and died. Everyone in the vehicle survived. She was the only one who died. We were in school then. I met Fiifi in school and fell in love with him. He was two years ahead of me and offered himself to teach me what I didn’t know about our course. We learned and talked about ourselves and through that, we fell in love. He was shattered when he heard the news of his aunt’s death. He went home and spent about a week. When he returned, he looked haggard than he was when going.
No matter how sad and broken we can be, the dead won’t return to us again so her aunt didn’t return. She was buried a month later and you could see that my boyfriend’s life was never the same again. He loved his aunt that much. He believed she was the gateway for him to also travel abroad after school. He said, “The devil really has taste for good things. See how he severed the life of my aunt. Whenever I spoke to this woman on phone, she encouraged me to learn and that after school she would do everything to take me out. Now see?”
All the lamentation couldn’t bring her back to life so, at some point, the living had to learn to live their lives without the contribution of those who were once alive. He completed school and fortunately for him, had a service placement in one of the reputable international companies in Ghana. Right after national service, he was retained.
A week before my graduation, he called me. His voice wasn’t the cheerful and sometimes shrill voice that I was used to. I knew something was wrong. I asked him, “What is it, Fiifi? You sound very dull.” He answered, “My father’s junior brother just died. He wasn’t sick for a day. He was feeling a little dizzy so he went to the hospital for medication. He walked there himself but he couldn’t walk back home. He’s gone.”
He was choked with tears while talking to me. The texture of his voice made me feel sad because I knew him that well. He hardly feels sad. Even when the situation was that bad, this man would find the positive side and be cheerful about it. He asked me, “What month are we in?” I answered, “We are in June.” He said, “You remember the month my aunt also died? It was in June. June has to be the most feared month in our family. It took two great people from us just like that. They were both not sick. How could life be this cruel?”
I was next to him during the funeral and it was the first time I met his parents. He introduced me to them as his girlfriend. His mother told me, “Welcome home my daughter. It’s unfortunate you have to be here when everyone is in black. The cloud will soon lift and we’ll take off the black and be happy again. It’s a happy family so once you are here, you’ll be happy too.” I met his other siblings and they were all happy to see me. After the funeral, we visited his parents often and as they promised, I saw the happy side of the family and couldn’t wait to be part of them.
A year after my national service we got married. Seven months after our marriage, I was carrying a three months old pregnancy when my father-in-law also died. He complained of body aches at first but then it became severe so he was rushed to the hospital. He never came back again.
I cried like it was my own dad who died. My husband couldn’t breathe well. He paced back and forth while talking to himself. The words didn’t come out clearly. I was looking at him then I asked myself, “What month are we in again? The answer was the same, “June.” His father was sixty years old. He was very strong. Some people will have certain health issues at that age but his father didn’t have any health concerns. Later in the night, he told me, “I didn’t want to believe it when I was told but this thing has started ringing true in my ears. The devil has his eyes on my dad’s family. Looks at the people he’s plucking. He’s only killing those who are doing well in life. My father’s senior brother had been sick for two years now but he’s alive. Why? Because he’s not anything of note. I believe what I was told. It’s beginning to make sense.”
According to him, after the death of his uncle, a seer told his dad’s family head what was happening. He told him someone had brought curses on the family and it was the reason all the great people in the family are falling one after the other. They were shown what to do to avert the catastrophe but according to my husband, his father wasn’t a believer in such things and the people in the family also didn’t have the time to investigate it. So according to him, that thing is still running free in the family, cutting down those who are doing well in the family.
When we went to the funeral of his dad, I was carrying our secondborn. He warned me, “Don’t eat anything from anyone at the funeral. Don’t even drink anything and don’t bring the kid along. Take the kid to your mom and come alone.” The way he sounded worried me. It was like he would be alright even if I didn’t attend the funeral. We went to the funeral and everything was peaceful. His father was buried respectfully but you could see fear and questions on people’s faces. After the funeral, I came home first to take care of the kid. My husband was there for a week before he came home. The very day he stepped into the house, everything changed.
He put for sale sign on his car. I was like, “Why? why are you selling the car? What do you need the money for and why didn’t you discuss it with me first like we do everything around here?” He answered, “You don’t understand. I have to protect myself from these people. From the look of things, no one is ready to do what the seer said so we are left to take care of ourselves. Each one for himself. If I’m not doing well in life, then they can’t target me.” I said, “What about prayers? What about seeing a man of God with our problems? You can’t do it all by yourself. We need help.” He said, “My father went to church every day and prayed like crazy. Where’s he now? Who is more Christian than my mother? Where is her husband? I won’t sit around and do prayers and pastors and die. This is a special direction and I’m following it.”
I’ve consulted men of God on his behalf. We went together and prayed. We’ve fasted for months and according to these men of God, we can go ahead and live our normal life because nothing would happen. My husband doesn’t believe them. He still goes around following some instructions that force him to live a frugal life. He doesn’t dress in certain ways because it will draw attention. We were building a house before all this happened but the project had been put on hold because if he builds a house, he qualifies as rich and they’ll come after him. His peers and their families are living a great life of happiness. You see them travelling to places for holidays but my husband won’t let us do that because the evil eyes would target him. Even his senior brother who is richer is living his life.
Currently, I have a baby. We were using a private hospital but he has asked me to use the government hospital. Everything that helps us to enjoy certain kinds of privileges had been cut off by my husband. It’s gotten to a point where I’m being suffocated. I have to hide and eat certain types of food. I haven’t bought new things for many months. We can’t even give the children certain kinds of liberties our salaries can afford us just because we have to hide from the evil eyes that are after his family.
I’m tired and I’ve told him about it. I asked him, “So for how long are we going to live like this? If those evil eyes can’t see that you’re pretending to be poor then they are not that powerful after all. Dear, let’s live our lives before the time comes for us to die. We can’t hide forever, can we?” He answered, “Just a little bit of time. We’ll be fine very soon.” He said that over a year ago and we are still here. I don’t believe him again and want to go ahead and live my normal life but I’m scared he’ll blame me if any misfortune happens. What should I do?
At this point, I’m very tired. I’ve even thought of leaving him for a while to sort himself out but what’s the essence of a wife who runs away from the marriage when her husband is facing issues?
So I’m here suffering with him, pretending we are too poor to afford basic necessities of life. I want to break free. The other time I told him, “I would rather live well today and die tomorrow than live the rest of my life like a chicken. What are our lives worth if we can’t express the goodness the Lord has endowed us?” His answer was, “It’s better to have life than anything. It’s life that’s wealth, not wealth without life.”
I’m tired. I want to break free but I want to break free with him. what do we do?
