I was born this way. Everything I am today was what I came with. I was born with a strange condition that made it impossible for me to walk. According to my dad, I spent over four years on the ground crawling on my belly while my peers were running. They called it a spiritual attack so they walked from church to church for answers to my problem. They heard horrible things. Someone even told my parents that I’m an ancestral child and ought to be sacrificed if they wanted peace in their lives. My parents were steadfast. They wanted a miracle. They wanted to see things work. When the church failed, they tried herbal medicine. That also didn’t work until some white people came to town for medical outreach and I was sent there.
They told my parents it wasn’t going to be possible for me to walk because whatever affected me had eaten into my bones and are shrinking and weakening my bones so I couldn’t walk. It broke their hearts but it put finitude to their chase of a miracle. They brought me home and decided to raise me the best way that they could. They lost friends. Families didn’t want to come to them because they had given birth to an abomination child.
Apart from my inability to walk, I was also born with colour. My parents are dark but I am fairer. They called me obroni but it turned out that I had albinism in my blood. Mine isn’t that strong. I got a little bit of the colour and as time went on, I developed freckles on my face to match my complexion. They called me obroni when I was a child but as I grew up, the name changed from Obroni to ofri.
I was eleven years old when I started having sight issues. It was a cataract. It developed in my left eye, so currently, that eye is shutting down. Cataract has completely taken over and it’s clearly visible.
All my life had been a battle. While my peers passed through the stages of growth with ease and swagger, I had to do battles at every stage and conquer before I could deserve a seat at the table. My dad, God bless that man. Only God knows how many battles he had fought because of me. He had fought school authorities who didn’t want me in their schools and had fought teachers who tried to make life miserable for me and fought kids who bullied me and cast me aside as an unwanted human. I remember one day he carried me to the parents of one of such kids. He screamed, “Warn your child to get off mine. He’s not more human just because he can walk and mine can’t. If he tries again, he’ll have me to contend with. He wants to fight? He should go and fight his size.”
Because of my father’s brass attitude towards my bullies, I didn’t have friends. I went through primary to Junior high without a friend. My dad was my friend. My mom was my companion. My siblings, two of them became all the friends I needed in my life. I knew very early that my romantic life was dead because no woman will like a guy like me. They were sympathetic towards me when all I needed was someone to love.
At senior high school, there was this girl who offered to push me around whenever I used my wheelchair. Sabina. She did it as a duty enshrined in her psych. She would dress up and wait for me at the gate. Immediately she sees, she would smile and take charge of the wheels. She would ask about my night and talk about hers. In the third year, I took my chances with her and I lost. When I say I lost, I mean I lost her and lost her help. She stopped pushing me around because according to her, I shouldn’t have feelings for my helper. I had guys who helped but no one was committed like Sabina. When her friends asked why she had stopped, she told them what I did and they laughed at me; “A cripple with feelings.”
I got shut down completely when it comes to love. I didn’t try again but instead, I invested all my time into my studies. My dad encouraged me; “Make the grades. Get a good job and make money. A woman would finally say yes to you. It’s only success that can attract a woman to you.”
I completed the university with first-class honours. I did my national service amid struggles and trauma. After my service, it became difficult to land a job. They were excited when they saw my CV but immediately they saw who I was, the joy they had disappeared. It took me two years and short courses to be able to land this job I’m doing currently. It’s an international organization and they pay very well. They also take good care of me because of my situation. Their duty of care arrangements ensures that I come first in every decision they take concerning the living situations at work. I’m happy here but Adam was a sad man without Eve. I’m also a sad man without my Eve. Unfortunately for me, God is no longer in the business of creating partners from our ribs. The ones we are meant to meet don’t want to meet me.
But I have urges. The sun rises in the morning so is my joystick. Many parts of my body have failed me but that didn’t fail. It rises up and reminds me of who I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to use it for. I’m thirty-seven. Life is flying me by without being a partaker in it.
Not too long ago, I found contacts of hookup girls on telegram so I decided to try my luck there. If I couldn’t get someone to love me for who I am, at least I can get someone I can pay for the night. I called the numbers and one agreed to come over. It was hard to convince them to come over because they didn’t know me and I wasn’t a customer too but finally one agreed.
I was on the street waiting for her to arrive. When she got out of the taxi and called, I waved at her to come forward. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing so she pointed at me and asked, “Are you the one who called?” I said yes. She laughed hysterically while approaching me. She got closer to me and asked, “Is that a prank or something?” I answered, “It’s business, I’m not joking here. Let’s go in and talk.”
She stood and watched while I pushed myself forward. She walked up to me and said, “It’s not fair the way you’ve made me waste my lorry fare. Why didn’t you tell me before letting me get here?” I asked, “Tell you what?” She screamed, “You should have told me you’re in a wheelchair so I decide whether or not to come.” I asked, “What difference does that make? Is it not the same money?” She smiled. She told me, “I’m not ready to go to jail for murder. People like you should be calling pastors and not hookup numbers. You should be attending crusades hoping for a miracle. See you, you want me to kill you, abi?”
She stopped the next taxi and hopped in while laughing to herself.
The whole encounter was a mockery of who I am but it wasn’t something I haven’t experienced before. All my life has been about people who laughed at me and denied me a seat at the table but I never for once thought an olosho will deny me a seat too. It was an embarrassing situation for me but I took the loss and went back in.
I haven’t tried any hookup lines again.
I’ve accepted my situation. I made peace with my burdens long ago but after what happened with the hookup girl, I had to renew the peace and accept that, maybe for the rest of my life, I won’t experience the warmth of a woman. I’m made to trek this life all alone, unloved and unaccepted but that’s ok. Having life in itself is victory. I don’t take it for granted at all.
