So I met this guy in 2019. It was a time I was running my father’s money transaction business. This guy is called Victor. He used to come almost every day to deposit or withdraw money, and he would spend his day just seated outside the neighbouring shop. Through our daily interactions, we became very close friends. He has a friend called Peter and they used to spend most of their time together. So this Peter guy became my friend at well. As time went by, Peter expressed interest in me. He wanted a relationship but I did not accept him because I was dating a guy who was abroad. I was really committed to that relationship so I didn’t see any other man as desirable.
After I said no to Peter, he kept his distance from me, but then Victor also confessed his feelings for me. I turned him down as well and went about living my life. Unlike his friend, he did not withdraw from me. We still saw each other and held conversations. Sometimes we chatted on Facebook and other times too we spent time together. We often run into each other on my way to church and I would stop and chat with him for a while before going my way. Life was just like that for us until my long-distance relationship ended. I was hurt and felt very lonely. Victor asked if he could take me out just around that time. I live on the coast so I suggested we go to the beach.
Victor said, “No, I think we should go to a bar and get a few drinks.” I didn’t see anything wrong with it so I agreed and asked him to choose a place. On May Day, we met at a bar he chose in Diani. It was in a hotel. After we had a few drinks he suggested, “Let’s go somewhere private. We can get a room here.” I told him, “That’s not a good idea, it can lead to temptation.” He smiled and said, “Don’t worry. I will get some condoms, just in case.” Maybe it was my hurt over my breakup or maybe I liked him already. That’s why I agreed for him to buy condoms and we got a room that night. And it was no surprise when he got handsy with me after we got into the room. We ended up having shuperu.
The next day he asked, “What are we now that we have slept together? Will you agree to be my girlfriend now?” I was single, and I liked him so I said yes to his proposal. Everything about him was cool. The only thing that scared me was his past. He said, “I have only dated two women before you. Both of them died tragically in road accidents.” I felt it was scary but I also didn’t want to define our relationship based on his tragic past. I didn’t know what he did for a living until our relationship went a little further. That was when I found out that he is an undercover police detective. It was a dangerous job but I chose to rather focus on the happiness in our relationship.
We used to go out to have fun but this man has never taken me to his house. To date, I don’t know where he lives. We used to meet in only hotels. When I asked him to take me to his house he would say, “The place is not tidy. I don’t want you to see it and have the wrong impression about me.” Sometimes too he would say, “I will take you next week, don’t worry.” But that never happened. I had fallen blindly in love with him then so I chose to be patient with him. And I was doing that until one day I got a text from a strange number. It read; “Please, stop going out with my husband.” I got confused and showed the message to Victor. He said, “This is how fraudsters approach their victims these days. Don’t engage the person. I don’t have a wife or any woman in my life besides you.”
I told him, “I will believe that you are not married if you take me to your village to meet your family.” He readily agreed to do that but when it was time to go, he dragged his feet and gave one excuse after the other. After a while, he told me he would travel to the village alone to handle some family matters, after which we would go together. He said, “I won’t go with my phone and I will be there for a month so you won’t be able to reach me.” When I asked why he said he didn’t want to be disturbed. So I gave him my SIM card and asked that he takes his phone along so I could at least contact him. He took the SIM card and left but I couldn’t reach him.
He called me after two days telling me he lost the phone so he would stay there without a phone until his return. Truly, I didn’t hear from him for a whole month. When he finally got back, we planned and met up the next day. We had a good time so I thought everything was good. We even made plans to meet his parents and I was happy that he was finally coming around. Four days after that, this guy started ghosting me. I would call and he wouldn’t pick up. I would text him on WhatsApp, he would read and just ignore the messages. I became worried and asked him, “Is there a problem?” Instead of giving me an answer, he blocked all my numbers. So I called his friend Peter and asked him if Victor is married or had kids. He said no, but I felt he was lying.
After a week, Victor sent me a text accusing me of cheating on him. He said he was scared that I would infect him with an STD. I was like, “Really? How did you arrive at that conclusion? What did you see?” I was surprised because I have never cheated on him. I tried to defend myself but he wouldn’t listen. He said he would rather stay single than risk it. Imagine a thirty-two-year-old man telling his twenty-four-year-old girlfriend that he would rather be single. I honestly thought older guys were better and more understanding but he is completely the opposite. He accused me of having anger issues. He threw many accusations here and there just to justify his assertions.
My Friend With Benefits Is Pregnant For Me But That’s Not The Issue–Beads Media
And then he said, “My ex appeared to me in a dream and told me something I wanted to share with you but I couldn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure about you. I don’t see you well to share certain secrets with you.” At this point, I’d had enough so I got angry and told him my mind, “I am not interested in knowing what your dead ex-girlfriend told you in a dream. Keep it for yourself and do whatever she asked you to do. What’s all this about?” That was it. He said I had a temper and used that as an excuse to leave the relationship. It doesn’t make sense that he would just leave me like that. It was as if he was looking for a reason to leave and I gave him one.
I have learned my lessons. Next time I won’t ignore the red flags because love has blinded me. I still feel he is married. I feel he mastered the art of hiding it from me so he would use me and walk out when it pleases him. I am only disappointed in myself for believing in him. I need to move on but this loneliness is too hard to bear and it’s gradually pushing me into territories I’m scared to walk.
