He Looked Like An Answered Prayer Until I Asked Him For Money

Five months ago when he met me, he told me, “I want to marry you. I see in you the kind of woman I want to spend my forever with. I like how you are calm. I know you’ll complement me in a way no woman would ever do.” I was standing there looking at him wax lyrics about his feelings for me. I didn’t know what to say to make him go away. I thought he wasn’t serious or maybe, he was playing a joke on me. How can someone I’m meeting for the first time tell me he wants to marry me? I asked him, “Do you know me? Have we ever met for you to draw the conclusion that I’m the woman your future needs?”

He mentioned the three places he had seen me. The first time he saw me was like a year ago. Everything he said sounded like he had been watching me from afar without my knowledge. I told him, “Well, I don’t know you enough to want to marry you. We can be friends first.” He answered, “No problem at all. I’m ready to be a friend. Let’s see how it goes.” We exchanged numbers and we parted ways. While he was walking away, I turned and looked back to take one critical look at him. He had also turned to look at me one last time. Our eyes met. He smiled and I smiled back at him.

He called that evening and we talked. It became a ritual. He would call in the morning, call in the afternoon and then round it up with a late-night call. You can know a lot about a man through the way he talks to you, even on the phone. He was respectful and talked passionately about his dreams of becoming the best event organizer in Ghana in the next few years. Even when he had to ask me to visit him, he said it in a way that made it look like he was pleading with me. I went to his house after a week of knowing him. He has a good place. For a man his age and talk, he had lived quite a decent life.

That day, I spoke to him about my Christian values and how I hold purity in high esteem. I told him I didn’t want to be involved in sex before marriage. He responded, “That’s great. I don’t have a problem at all. After all, it wouldn’t take us too long to marry.” I looked at him and prayed silently, “God, is this the man you decide to bless me with after praying for five years for a good man? This one here looks too good to be true but I know what you give to your children is always too good to be true. Should I say yes? Should I look up to you for further instructions? I’ve known him for barely a week but I like what I’m seeing already.”

I left his house with so much love in my heart for him so when we talked about his proposal the following day, I said yes to him. Love grew so we got glued up together. There was no me without him and there was no him without me tagging along. He loved his job but had little time for the things of God. I decided to change that. I invited him to church often but it looked like he was busy every weekend. He said, “That’s how my industry works. We spend the whole week planning an event and get busy during the weekend.” I didn’t push him to be in church with me by all means but instead, I started inviting him to Alpha Hour prayers at midnight.

Alpha Hour is an online meeting of the faithful. We pray from 12 am to 1 am and I’ve been a member right from the beginning. I take my issues to the altar and it gets solved. I took my relationship issues there and prayed for a good man. Not long afterwards, I met him so I decided to bring him on board for him to experience God himself instead of me alone praying for him. Some nights I will send him the link and he’ll join. Some nights, I will call him and he’ll be sleeping. I’ll urge him to stay awake and pray but he’ll sleep anyway. I didn’t fight him. I know it takes time to change a man and I was always happy about the efforts he was putting in.

We had been together for months and hadn’t had any major fights. Sometimes we argued about how far I go with my faith. He thought I waste a lot of time doing church business. I thought no amount of time can be wasted if I dedicate them to God. It was never a heated argument. Just a conversation that didn’t get anywhere because he wouldn’t accept my point and I wouldn’t also accept his.

I hit a rough patch and needed money urgently to solve the situation. Usually, I will take a loan from the office but I already had an outstanding loan I was paying and didn’t want to complicate it so I called him for assistance. He told me, “No problem, let’s see what God can do. Someone owes me, he said he’ll give the money to me this week. Immediately I get it, I will push it to you.”


The week ended and I didn’t see anything so I asked him again. He said, “The person didn’t pay that’s why you didn’t hear from me but I’m giving him pressure so let’s hope by the end of this week he will pay.” I couldn’t wait. I needed the money urgently so I went to collect the money from a friend, hoping my boyfriend will give me the money so I pay it to my friend.

Three weeks later, I was getting the same excuses. Since we started dating, this guy hasn’t given me anything and I haven’t complained. I haven’t also asked him to give me anything until this issue came up. The excuses were getting too much so I asked him, “You mean you don’t have any money of your own to give me until your friend pays you? What if he never pays? Ever since we dated, you haven’t given me anything and I haven’t asked you for anything too. At least, you should consider that and do this for me.”


I didn’t see anything wrong with what I said but this man got angry and descended on me; “We are dating doesn’t mean I owe you anything. Ever since we started dating, how many times have you advertised my work on your Whatsapp page or on social media? That’s where my money comes from but have you ever cared to post any of the fliers I share on my wall? All you do is post Alpha Hour, why don’t you go there for what you need? I will give when I want to give. You can’t tell me I don’t give you anything when you’ve never extended a helping hand.”

His outburst shocked me to the marrow. This man has never invited me to help with his work. Yeah, he shares fliers on his page often but never has he asked me to share or anything. I didn’t even know what goes into event planning so what would I say when I share?” I didn’t think that should be a big deal, or?

After that argument, things turned cold between us. He doesn’t call often and I don’t call too. He’s giving me space and this space he’s giving me has given me a lot of time to think through our relationship very well. I believe he’s just a petty man and God won’t throw such pettiness in my way for a husband. I’m thinking of calling off the relationship because I don’t see the point. It looks like he hates what I do with my time when it comes to God. A man who doesn’t give and get defensive isn’t who I want. If he didn’t have the money, he could have said it in a more beautiful way than the way he did.

We’ve dated for five months and I believe his action is God’s way of telling me he isn’t the man he has chosen for me. Would it be alright if I walk away permanently? He hasn’t apologized after that and I don’t expect him to but even if he comes with an apology, I don’t think it will clean up what he has revealed about himself to me. He’s petty and petty people are not mature enough to be in marriage, I believe.