We met in the comment section of one of the posts. He made a point I thought made sense so I wrote my comment under his and said I agreed with him. How I wish I could point to that post. After that day, I saw his hello in my inbox. He introduced himself but I didn’t remember him so I ignored him. The following day I made a comment here and he commented under my comment. He said, “Check your inbox.” When I went into my inbox, he had sent a fresh message: “I’m trying to be a friend. It looks like the two of us think the same way.”
That was when I remembered who he was. When I commented under his comment the very first time, I didn’t keep his name in my mind. It was the reason I didn’t know it was him. We talked that day about the story posted in the morning. He asked about my thought and I went on and on and on. He said, “I agree with you perfectly. I don’t know why people in the comment are thinking differently.” From there, he sent a friend request and I accepted. His wall was empty but his account had been in existence since 2014.
I asked him, “It looks like you don’t write often on Facebook. You don’t even have photos of yourself on your wall.” He answered, “Yeah I’m not a social media person. Sometimes I close my account for months before I come back again. Recently, I’ve been very active because of Silent Beads. I love their stories and can’t go a day without them. It’s the reason I wake up in the morning and come here. Other than that, I have nothing to do here on Facebook.” I agreed with him once again. I even told him my love and hate relationship with social media. “Sometimes we have to shut it down and see the world as it is. Life is not all about social media.”
We talked every day but he made no attempt to ask for my number. It kept me calm and interested in the topics we talked about every morning. Some guys come around and the next moment they are asking for your contact. They come with agenda and it’s only your number that can make them fulfil their agenda. They make it a goal to get your number so they can have unrestricted access to you. This guy wasn’t like that. He was ok with not having my number. He never mentioned it but kept the conversation going until one day he sent me a screenshot of a conversation that was happening on a Whatsapp group. The conversation was about a story on Silent Beads.
I said, “You even have a Whatsapp group you discuss stories? Is it that deep?” He sent laughing emojis and said, “A friend added me to it. It’s exciting over there. If you like, I can ask her to add you.” That was when he got my number. The next moment he called; “We’ve been chatting for forever but haven’t heard each other’s voice. Now, I’m here to hear your voice.” The first thing I did was laugh. He said, “Wow, your voice. How old are you? You sound like a little girl.” I get that comment a lot from people I talk to on phone for the first time. It didn’t come to me as a surprise. I said, “That’s what people say ooo but you should wait until you hear my age.”
We talk for a few minutes and he later said, “I’ve given your number to that my friend. Expect to be added to the group.” I waited all day but was not added. Not that I was expecting it but I looked forward to it. In the evening, he called me. He said, “My friend said the group is full so you should wait until someone exits.” I answered, “Wow, you’re that many? Then that place is fire. I can’t wait to be there.” That was the end of the discussion when it comes to that group. He never added me to it. I guessed no one exited. But that aside, we talked every day. We talked about life and living it and everything in between that. He asked, “We’ve been always discussing other people’s relationship stories. How about us? Don’t we have any stories to talk about?”
So I told him about my relationship story and how it ended six months ago. This post is not about me so I won’t go on that journey with you. But after sharing my story with him he said, “Someone can look at a face like yours and break your heart? Didn’t he consider the voice? Didn’t your voice make him feel pity for the girl inside you?” I laughed. “Pity? If I gave him a dagger, he would have stuck it in my chest and finished me. That guy is heartless.” He told me about his too. He said he hadn’t been in a relationship for the past two years. “Mine wasn’t about a heartbreak. The girl I loved travelled and we fell apart. I decided to give myself some time before I fall in love again.”
A month later we were an item. We hadn’t met but it was easy for me to accept his proposal because of his mind and how smart he sounded when it came to relationship issues. I said to myself, “A guy with his experience would treat a woman right. Ours would be the kind of story we share on Silent Beads that would make people go like “Awwww, I want to be in love.” My heart was far gone in love with him but I didn’t know him physically. What helped me to picture him very well were the photos he sent me.
We planned to meet but he had an emergency at work that week we had to meet. We rescheduled our meeting but just a day before we met, his grandfather who raised him died so he had to travel to the village. We agreed to meet in my office when he returned. On the day he had to come to my office, his supervisor was sent on assignment so he had to take over from him. Any time we planned to meet, something came up to destroy it. Love takes time. Good things take time. A beautiful flower you see in the garden took time to grow its petals. Every beautiful thing I know took time to develop. So is love. True love takes its time to bud and later flower. I wasn’t in a rush. I was taking my time until there would be no time to take.
One day he sent me a message that sounded like an SOS: “Babe, I’m dead! Thieves broke into my room and took away everything. Whaaat!” Minutes later, he started sending me photos of the incident. TV gone, drawers turned upside down, photo frames on the floor, and even carpet was stolen. He travelled for a weekend and came to meet his place turned upside down. I screamed, “Whaaat! How can someone do this to you in these hard times? Who could possibly raid your room like that? Are you the only tenant? How is the house like that someone would have the comfort to do that to you?”
He said his mind wasn’t in the right place to talk so he would call me later. I asked him to report to the police and he said, “That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” The following day he called, “Dear, can you give me a loan? Just GHc500 and I’ll pay you immediately after the month ends.” I didn’t think twice about it. A woman in love usually has no defences. Her logic switch goes off and never comes back until love leaves her heart. I sent him the money and even asked him, “Would that work for you? Do you think that much will solve your situation?” He said, “For now, yeah but I will ask friends and family for help. Don’t worry I will be fine.”
The following day he called again, “Dear, the police want money before they go and arrest the suspect. My neighbours said they saw one guy who lives next door around my door at night. The police have to go and pick him so they are asking for GHC400 which I don’t have. Can you do me a favour?” I sent it to him sharp. I said, “Make sure they arrest him. What was he doing around your door at night? Is he your friend? He could be involved. Let them discipline him, he would tell the truth.”
Before I realized it, my GHC1,500 was gone just within a week. I wanted to see him. I felt he was in distress and needed someone around to tell him to calm down. I tried all I could to get him to see me but it was one excuse after the other. I was talking to him one evening when he said, “I can’t sleep at night because of what happened. My room is empty. I wake up and I get scared. I look around and my heart breaks. It feels like those who came to steal from me are coming for my life. I want to relocate and leave the memories of this place behind. If I keep staying here, I might go mad.” I said, “That’s a good idea. Thieves stole my phone through my window in my formal place. I couldn’t sleep for a month until I left. Just leave for the sake of your mental health.”
He said, “I’ve gathered something from friends and my dad. I’m left with only GHC2000 to get a new place. Can you help? I’m not saying give me all the GHC2000, if you can, fine but if you can’t, I will manage whatever you will give me.” I told him to give me a week to provide him with that much. He said, “A week would be too far. I’ve spotted a new room. If I don’t pay for it, it would be gone in a week.” I told him to give what he has to the landlord and ask him to give him just a week. He agreed only to call the next day and say the landlord didn’t agree to the arrangement. “Please do something, your boy is in distress. You’re all I have. I know you’ve done a lot in this short period but please, this once. I promise I won’t ask for anything again.”
I went to my friend Gladys to ask for help. She asked me, “What do you need that for? You of all people need a loan?” I told her everything and she opened her mouth until it formed an O. “Are you silly? How can you give all that to someone you haven’t met? For what? You’ve given him that much already and he keeps asking for more? Sister, is it love you are in or you’ve adopted an orphan?” I thought she was being too harsh. She was doubting the authenticity of the boy I love and I was hurt. I said, “He sent me photos. I saw them. I could feel the desperation in his voice. Who could lie about something like that? It’s ok if you won’t give me.”
Early the next morning Gladys called me. She said, “I’ll give you the money but tell him to come for the money himself. Don’t send it to him. If indeed he needs the money that much, he would come for it.” She sent me the money and I was ready to send it to him when I thought of what she told me. I said to myself, “That could be true. Let me try him.” I called him to come for the money and he got angry. “If you want to help me help and stop trying to push me around. I’m in desperate need and the least you can do is try to see me before you help? Where am I going? Please send it to me before I lose that place.” I pulled the breaks. Something didn’t feel right. I told Gladys, “Let’s put him to a test. Send him a message on Facebook and try to talk to him let’s see how it goes.”
The following day Gladys started sending me screenshots of their chat. All the photos he sent to Gladys were different from what he sent me. It wasn’t the same person. This guy told my friend that he was in France and came to Ghana only a week ago. And that, he found Silent Beads not too long ago and got hitched. If you read between the lines carefully, he was flirting with Gladys. I sighed. I knew I had been defrauded. Just around that time, he was calling me persistently to send him the money. I told him, “I have to see you first. What would it take for you to meet me? We are both in Accra here so why not?” He gave me excuses and yet wanted me to send him the money.
I asked Gladys to try and get to see him. For a whole week, he kept giving her excuses. The same excuses he gave me not to see me. I knew it. He was a fraudster. We gave his number to certain ladies to also try and get him to meet them, he never did but all the while pressing me to send him the money. I couldn’t bear the lies any longer so I told him, “You’re a fraudster and it pains me so much that I fell for it. He asked, “What are you saying? Because I won’t see you? I want to settle down before. You send me the money, any little you have.” I told him, “You came from France not too long ago, so why do you need my money?” Immediately I mentioned France, he laughed and cut the call. I called several times and he didn’t pick up. I sent him a message, “Your cup would be full one day, go on and be deceiving people.” He answered, “Take your jon things away. Whose cup? You should have sent the GHC2000 and see if it will make my cup full. Jon!”
That was the last time we spoke. I called Gladys and apologized to her and told her, “Please don’t tell anyone about this. I’m so embarrassed I may do something to myself if I hear it somewhere.” I trust Gladys. She won’t say anything but currently, it’s my conscience that won’t allow me to sleep or have my peace. It keeps reminding me of the incident and tells me how stupid I’d been. I can’t forgive myself for falling for something this low. It’s the reason I’m sharing it to prevent others from falling for this trick. He blocked me on all front. He did the same to Gladys too. His name on Facebook is Kofi but he spells it differently but pronounced it the same way.