My wife is often very tired due to a condition called chronic fatigue syndrome. After we got married, she worked a lot, earning around $75,000 every year as a lawyer. However, in 2010, her sickness became too hard for her to handle while working. For the following nine years, I was the only one making money to support our family.
Even though she didn’t use it, we paid about $500 each year to keep her law license active. This was tough, especially after we had kids. I never forced her to go back to work because I knew it could be too much for her.
Around four years ago, a friend asked her to help with some office work a few hours each week, and she agreed. Gradually, she ended up working more hours, sometimes as many as 35 hours in a week. This made her very tired, and she would sleep a lot on the weekends.
After a few months, I suggested that if she could manage working that much, maybe she could think about doing legal work from home, which pays a lot more money. I said that if she worked just five hours a week, it could make our family earn twice as much. But I didn’t make her do it. There were chances for her to work as a lawyer again, but she didn’t try.
Last December, after a year of really tough financial times, I told her that our family really needed her to earn more money. I suggested that she could start a small business as a lawyer, focusing on simple things like wills and trusts. She could work from home for just five hours every week. I offered to help her start, and I set some deadlines for her to make progress. In the first six months of this year, I know she made some effort, even though she didn’t really want to do it. But she still hasn’t really started doing lawyer work.
I’m getting really frustrated because I want her to help us with money. I love her a lot, and I don’t want to get a divorce.
I tried talking to her gently about how important this is, but it didn’t really work. A couple of weeks ago, I almost told her that we should talk to someone who helps married people (a marriage counselor). But I was worried she wouldn’t like the idea, and I thought it might make things worse between us. So, I’m asking for advice. Should I suggest marriage counseling to her? Or is there something else I should do?
I work as a lawyer for a nonprofit group that helps people with their rights. We usually get around $45,000 to $55,000 each year, and we have student loans to pay off. We’ve been living with her parents in a countryside area for the past ten years. The extra work I’m asking her to do, about 20 hours every month (not every week), could possibly bring in $15,000 to $30,000 more each year.
