Our Benefactor Got Me Pregnant And I Later Confessed To My Husband

My childhood days were not fun. I grew up in several homes due to my parent’s absence in my life. I lived with my mother for the first eight years of my life, and then my paternal grandmother came for me. She took me to her house where she lived with her husband and her stepchildren. The children were constantly picking on me because of the rivalry between them and my grandma. Whenever she travelled, I experienced hell. This continued till I turned thirteen. I had decided that enough was enough. The next time they attempted to bully me I ran from my grandma’s place to my mother’s place.

I thought I was going to be safe in the comforting arms of my mother. I thought I was going to experience motherly love at her hands, but I was wrong. There was no warmth, and love in that woman’s miserable hands. I regretted the day I went to live with her. She was running a drinking bar, so she would send to buy cigarettes and alcohol for the bar. Sometimes she sent me out to get those items at 10:00 PM. There were times she sent me to her boyfriend’s house to collect money for her. The worst experience was when she would take money and food from men and allow them to have their way with me. I was just a child, her child, but that didn’t matter to her. She just cared about what she was getting in return for the defilement of my body.

Her two sisters who saw what was going on took pity on me and took me to live with them. I served them very well despite the hardship they made me go through. For me, anything was better than being pimped out by my mother. So I endured everything until I completed Secondary school. That was when I decided that I deserved better in life than I had ever experienced. I wanted an opportunity to live a life devoid of chaos and abuse. So I left my aunts’ place for my father’s family. It was in the same neighbourhood so I wasn’t completely cut off from them. Things were not peaceful there but it was better.

While I was contemplating the next course of action for my life, my childhood friend told me, “I know a man who is looking for a wife. And I think you will be perfect for him.” I was looking for an escape from my family situation so I agreed to meet the man. We were in the same church so we met at church. When I saw him my first thought was, “There’s nothing special about him. He only has leadership positions in the church, that’s all.” When we closed from church that day, we went for a walk and we talked. It seemed he liked me but I wasn’t sure I liked him. Later, I went to look for his house and found that he comes from a very humble home.


Our courtship wasn’t fun. He would come to me for assistance whenever he was in need, but when he got money he spent it on his family. I thought that his behaviour would change when he moves away from them, so I convinced him to move out just when we were about to get married. And he moved out. We courted for three years before we got married against the wishes of both our families. For whatever reason, his family didn’t want him to marry me. My mother’s family also didn’t want us to get married. They said he wouldn’t take care of me, and they didn’t want that for me. I had also seen some signs for myself but I convinced myself that he would change after marriage. So we pushed through and got married. Truth be told, I wasn’t even happy on my wedding day. I didn’t love the man or the idea of marriage. I only went through with it because I wanted to escape a bad situation.

Not long after marriage, I got pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl. That’s where everything began. My mother-in-law and my sister-in-law only delighted in insulting me and taunting me. Later, my maternal aunts started mocking me for marrying into such a family. I was always looking miserable whenever I went to family occasions, and they had their laughs out of it. It got to a point I had to convince my husband to let us move far away from both our families. We were two years into the marriage when we moved.

When our daughter started schooling, my husband wasn’t willing to pay the school fees so I did. I took care of some things at home as well. This only encouraged my husband to spend his salary on things outside the home. He never gave me money for upkeep in our eleven years of marriage. I have always been the one doing almost everything. Sometimes I had to fight him before he would pay our rent. The only financial contribution he has made in my life was to support me to get my diploma in education. A lot has happened in the span of eleven years.

By our eighth year, I had given birth to our third child. You would think that after three children this man would step up and take care of the home, but he didn’t. Sometimes my children and I would starve during the day, just so we could eat at night. During this time of difficulty, I met a man who showed me love, sincerity, loyalty and everything I wanted in a man. He was also generous. He always provided my needs in a way my husband never did. I didn’t want to end up committing adultery so I took the man home and introduced him to my husband and my kids. When my husband got to know the man was rich, he saw an opportunity to extort money from him. This man was so kind that he gave my husband money for everything even for the children’s birthdays. He is divorced without a child so he took us as his family.

One day I had an encounter with the man, got drunk and we ended up sleeping together. Worst of all, we didn’t use protection. We carried the burden of our affair around hoping nothing would happen. Later I found out I was pregnant. I told him about it and he asked me to get rid of it. He even gave me money for it. I did it but nothing came out, so I had to carry the pregnancy full term. This man took care of the pregnancy till birth.

One day, we confessed our affair to my husband, and he forgave us. But having the man in our lives served as a reminder of what we did so I asked him to stay away. That was a mistake. My husband never lifted a finger to help me with the finances.

I took care of the four children and my husband all by myself. I was constantly in debt because of the loans I was always taking from people. My husband would also take money out of my mobile money account when I’m asleep. Apart from that, he was sexually abusing me. He was on me, three to four times a day. Even when I was on my period, he wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to gather courage at some point and stand my ground against him before he stopped. I became depressed and grew lean. I even attempted to take my life several times but all attempts failed. At some point, I had to give myself to men, just so I would get extra money to feed my children.

My Friend With Benefits Is Pregnant For Me But That’s Not The Issue–Beads Media


I asked my husband for a divorce but he said; “A prophet has told me that you will be wealthy soon, so I won’t divorce you. If not another man will come and enjoy your wealth.” I have asked my family to help me dissolve the marriage but no one is willing to do it. Recently, the man I cheated on my husband with met me on my way to work and nearly cried. We spoke and he gave me money for the kids. I don’t know why the man keeps taking care of the family while my husband sits with a different mindset. I have allowed the man back into our lives. He feeds me, his son, and the rest of the family but I have nothing else to do with him.

Currently, I’m looking for a single room self-contained apartment where I can pay monthly rent with a budget of GHC300 or six months in advance to relieve me of this suicidal thought but to no avail. What do I do? I want to leave this miserable marriage or end my life so that everything will end. I’m sharing this with you because I need ideas and advice.