My dad used to be a farmer who took pride in his work, and my mother was a petty trader. The items she sold were mostly seasonal. If tomatoes were in season, my mother would sell them. If okras were in season, she would sell those too. If Christmas was approaching, she would sell toys and all those shiny Christmas stuff kids love. Even with all her resourcefulness and my dad’s earnings from his farming, things were difficult for our family financially.
We thought we had it bad, until one day my dad went to the farm and encountered a tragedy that altered his life and ours. It had rained the previous night, and my dad was happy with the blessings of the sky. You know how rain plays a big role in the success of farming. If there’s no rain, some crops won’t do well. If there’s too much rain too, some crops won’t do well. And if the rain is heavy, they could get washed away. So it’s all about balance. And the night before my dad’s accident, the rain was quite heavy so he was worried. He left the house at the same time he always did in situations like that, but he was brought back earlier than usual. We didn’t even get to ask, “What happened?” Because it was right before our eyes, there was a stick lodged in his left eye. They said he slipped and fell and his eye plunged into the stick. We rushed him to the hospital and the doctors saved his life. But they couldn’t save his eye. My dad never stepped foot on a farm after that incident, and no one expected him to.
He resorted to doing menial jobs here and there but it was barely enough to take care of only him, let alone our family. My mother’s trading became the life force for all of us. When it came to food and basic needs, she did well for us. But when it came to education, she focused her resources on my three brothers. My sisters and I always got the short end of the stick in that regard. I understand that it must not have been easy to raise seven children on a low income, but it still hurt our feelings when she put the boys’ needs over us girls. This has caused division among us. And even now as we are all adults, it’s each one for themselves. There’s no sibling love.
When I completed SHS, one of my male friends, Simon expressed interest in me. I hadn’t thought about getting involved in a relationship until that moment. So I told him to give me time to think about it. And I did think about it. He was a very good friend and I had known him long enough to know that he is a good guy. So I accepted his proposal and we started dating. When our results came in, I failed some of my papers while he excelled in all of his. So he suggested, “Why don’t you rewrite the papers you failed? I will pay for your remedial classes.” The offer was an answer to my prayers. I said yes and started classes in preparation for Nov/Dec. Simon gained admission to the university of his choice so he also started school.
After my Nov/Dec exams, my grades were polished up enough to send me to tertiary school. The problem however was my lack of financial support. I couldn’t count on my parents to help me. And I didn’t have enough savings to take me through school either. I had gotten good grades but I didn’t know what to do with them. When school forms came out that year Simon asked, “Which schools are you buying forms for?”
I told him, “None this year. Maybe, I’ll try next year.” He was surprised, “Why would you wait till next year to buy the forms? What’s the problem?” I felt slightly embarrassed but I told him the truth anyway, “I can’t count on my family to see me through school. You were the one who paid for my remedial classes, remember? I wouldn’t have taken those classes if it hadn’t been for you.” “So I am asking you to buy the forms, the rest will take care of itself.” He replied.
I bought the forms and gained admission into the university I wanted. And Simon paid for my fees and my hostel fees. He also gave me money for upkeep. He did the same thing the next semester and the one after that, and the one after it, until my last semester ended. This guy has been nothing but an amazing man and I fell in love with him the older we grew. I planned my whole future with him. It was easy to do that because I believed we were bound to be together forever. He is my family, my best friend, and literally all I have. And I know that he cares deeply about me. He shows it by always taking care of me. Even after I completed school, he still gave me money for upkeep.
For a while, I battled with a digestive disorder. It was a condition that could only be corrected through surgery. As usual, Simon stayed by my side and supported me throughout the process. By God’s grace, the surgery was successful and I am in good health. I am currently working and capable of taking care of my financial needs, but Simon still gives me money for upkeep. He also pays my hospital bills every month I go check up. After ten years of being together, he recently told me, “Babe, we need to talk.” We all know that nothing good ever comes out of that statement. So I panicked when he uttered it, but I told myself, “Why are you scared? This is Simon we are talking about. He loves you so calm down.” And I took deep breaths to calm my nerves before asking him to go ahead and talk. He looked at me intently and said, “You know I love you, right?” I nodded in agreement and he went on, “Yes, I love you very much but I am not in love with you anymore. And I am finding it difficult to keep being in the relationship. I believe it’s time we go our separate ways.”
I was shocked. I never expected to see the day Simon would break up with me. I tried to hold on to him, “Did I do something to change your feelings about me? What can I do to make you fall in love with me again?” He shook his head, “It’s not you, it’s me. I am the one who has changed. You are amazing and I hate to do this to you. Forgive me.” Even though he was clear that he doesn’t love me anymore, I still love him. And his actions after the break-up leave me confused. He still insists on giving me money for upkeep and paying my monthly hospital bills. I have told him he doesn’t need to do those things anymore but he says he wants to do them. He is constantly checking up on me and caring for me as if we never broke up.
When he was doing it while we were together, it felt like the right amount of rain. Everything was perfectly balanced. Now that we are not together, his actions feel like too much rain. And I don’t know what to make of it. I am very confused and unable to move on. Please I need advice on how to handle this situation.
