She Chose An Old Man Over Me And Asked Me To Wait While She Assesses Him

I always dreamt of meeting my future wife early in life so that we could build our life and grow together. And this dream started to come true in 2015 when I joined JHS 1 in a new school. On my first day, I saw a girl who caught my attention. She was very quiet and wore a look that said, “I would rather be anywhere but here.” I started crushing on her that very day but it took me months to talk to her because she was extremely shy.


I was itching to express my feelings to her but I didn’t know how she would react. I also noticed that she didn’t talk to the class boys like the other girls did. Which led me to conclude that she was afraid of boys. So I planned to let her get comfortable around me before I shoot my shot. But life had other plans. She quit our school and joined another one when we got to JHS 2 so I didn’t get the opportunity to have her get close to me.

However, we lived close to each other so once in a while, I saw her pass by my house. Occasionally, I stopped her to talk to her but she was always in a hurry to get away from me. And I also didn’t push it. When I went to SHS, I no longer saw her but her memory never left me. I was very young but I believed in my heart that she was the one for me.

One day I was walking my friend and his girlfriend home when we ran into Akua, my JHS crush. She was friends with my friend’s girlfriend so we all talked. I was very happy to see her again. I kept smiling and admiring how beautiful she had become. After we parted ways I told my friend’s girl, “I have liked Akua since we were in JHS but she always seems too shy to talk to me. Please talk to her on my behalf, and put in a good word for me.”

A few days later, I received a call from Akua. Her friend had given her my message. That day we spoke until I felt her lower her guard. As the days went by, we continued to talk until her shyness around me completely dissolved. However, she turned down my proposal. I couldn’t believe I came all this way to get bounced, so I proposed to her again and she rejected me again. We kept going back and forth until my friend got fed up and said, “If she says she doesn’t want you then let her go. You will find someone else.” I shook my head and thought, “This guy doesn’t know what he is talking about. I am not letting my dream girl go.”

So I kept asking her to be my girlfriend until she eventually said yes. We were each other’s first in everything, and I was certain we would be each other’s last as well. The bond of our love was so strong that I couldn’t wait to marry her. I completed school before she did. I think she had to repeat a class when she switched schools. So while I was working she was getting ready to write her WASSCE.

Everything was on course until she started feeling weak and falling sick just a few days before the start of the exams. She went to the clinic and came back with the news of pregnancy. I bought some pills for her to get rid of it but she couldn’t come home because of the exams. The whole thing took a toll on her and she couldn’t even study. I was very worried but later she told me she had eaten a certain fruit with its seeds and it caused her to miscarry.

And true to her words, she started getting her periods the way she normally did. Our life got back on track but when her WASSCE results came out she failed some of her papers. I felt responsible for it. After all, it was my baby that made her lose focus on her books. Because of that, I vowed to stand by her and support her to achieve whatever she was interested in.

She couldn’t go to the university but she gained admission to nursing school, and I supported her in every way I could. I also introduced her to my family and they loved her very much. I felt proud to have her as my woman.

At some point, I started having financial challenges and I couldn’t give Akua certain things she demanded of me. So I told her, “I am not happy that I can’t give you everything you want. So I am giving you permission to leave me if a better man comes your way.” And she assured me, “It’s either you or no one. I am not going anywhere.” She stuck with me until I changed my job and my finances improved.

Along the line, I moved in to replace my aunty who relocated to a new place and left everything in her room to me. My girl started coming around anytime she had free days and we always created beautiful moments together. We also had our ups and downs but I can confidently say that we were perfect and she could stay with me for as long as a month. We started making plans for her to introduce me to her family so

that we would prepare for marriage.


On the personal growth front, she got a job after she completed school but she lost it somewhere in March 2022. And I took it upon myself to edit her CV and apply for jobs for her, but she never showed up for the interviews she was called for. We even argued about it and made our peace. In June, she attended her brother’s wedding and came back to me; “I met my dad’s friend at the wedding. And he said he wants to marry me. Can you believe this old and disgusting man?” When I gave her a worried look, she reassured me that I am the only man for her.

A week after that discussion, she told me her dad helped her get a job in his friend’s organization. The same friend who expressed interest in her. I was worried but she needed the job so I chose to trust her. I also believed that we went through a lot together and she wouldn’t leave me just when we were close to getting married. She even moved in with me because I lived closer to the workplace than her parents did.

Every day she came home from work, she would tell me about the man and the pressure he was putting on her to marry him. “Can you believe he made his intentions known to my parents? Now they are asking me not to write him off. But you don’t have to worry, I have told them about you.” After one week, she moved back home. She said her boss offered to pay her transport fare.

After two weeks of working with the man, she started complaining that her parents were giving her pressure to accept the man’s proposal. I called her younger sister to ask why her parents were doing that, but her sister told me that no one was giving Akua pressure to do anything. They only mentioned the issue once. I became confused and didn’t know who to believe. But I sat my girlfriend down and told her, “You know the plans we have so if truly you don’t want this man, then be bold and reject him.” She agreed with me but a few days later, she started complaining again that her parents were putting pressure on her to marry the man.

I didn’t want to force her to choose me so I decided to give her some space to figure things out for herself. A few days later she told me that she accepted the man’s proposal but I should give her time to study him and come to a final decision between the two of us. I immediately felt my heart shaking inside my chest. I broke down and told her she has already considered the man so she should go on with him. Just after a week of accepting the man, she had shuperu with him when they went to work and came to apologize to me. She said he forced himself on her.

After everything that she put me through I still loved her so I met up with her to talk about us getting back together. Things went well and we ended up having shuperu. Then after four days, she called to tell me that she was pregnant. I was very happy thinking that it would make her not leave me anymore but she said, “I am not sure who is responsible. I didn’t use any contraceptives when I slept with the man.” So I told her it was only logical that the baby belongs to the man. If it was mine, it wouldn’t be detected in four days. Then I suggested that she get rid of it and leave the man so we could get back together. But she didn’t do that. She rather informed the man about it and he accepted it. I accepted then that I have lost her, but she still insisted I should give her time and that we are still together.

After just two months with the man, she told me the man has gone for her list and performed the knocking rites. She claims the decision was made on her behalf. Last week she called me crying, “Please I want you back. I can’t marry that man. I can’t marry any man who is not you.” I still loved her so I took her back.

I thought we were going to be fine but Akua couldn’t break up with the man. Instead, she changed her mind about getting back together with me. She broke my heart again after I had given her a second chance. I feel played. I feel like a walking dead. My future plans and my childhood dreams have been crushed. I feel pain within my soul. I sleep and wake up by 2:00 AM and can’t sleep again. I don’t think I can ever love anybody the way I loved her. She was complete and everything I needed in a woman. And we were so close to having a beautiful ending. I still hope she will have the courage and call off the marriage and come back to me. I am breaking down as I write this.

She blames me that I didn’t fight hard to hold on to her when everything started. But my friends are saying that she was already with the man while we were dating. That is hard for me to believe because I had access to her phone and she didn’t do anything for me to suspect she was cheating.

At some point, I was nearly hit by a car because I was lost in thought. And sometimes I even think of doing something to myself because the pain is too much. I can’t take it.