After high school, I studied a certificate course and got a job in a health facility. I worked for a while and saved some money to further my education. I couldn’t afford to pursue a degree, so I applied for a diploma course somewhere in 2017. I had some trouble printing out my application letter so I asked my friend, Akua to help me. She couldn’t do it so she introduced me to a guy named Harry. “Harry is a tech wizard. He will help you print your letter.” She said.
True to her words, Harry helped me with my printout. About two weeks later, he called me to wish me a happy birthday. I was surprised, “How did you know it was my birthday? And how did you even get my number? Because I know Akua wouldn’t give it to you without asking me first.” He laughed, “Is it supposed to be a secret? Don’t worry, I’m not a stalker. I saw your details the day I helped you print out your confirmation letter.” Upon hearing that I felt at ease, and continued talking to him. We had more conversations following that one, and that’s how our friendship started.
We were talking one day when he told me “I liked you the very first day I saw you. And my feelings for you have deepened these past few weeks. I want you to be my girlfriend.” I wasn’t ready for a relationship at that time. I was nursing a five-year heartbreak. So I turned him down. He wasn’t ready to give up, “How can you say no just like that? At least take some time to think about it.” I shook my head at him; “There’s no point in stringing you along. I am just not interested in a relationship right now.” After that conversation, things became strained between us. It got to a point we stopped talking to each other completely.
Somewhere in 2018, Harry reached out to me on Instagram. He said he lost my number, and that he wanted us to talk. I sent my number to him and he texted me. We chatted about how we were doing in life and how we missed each other. “If you’ve missed me, then come and visit me.” He asked. I really did miss him, so we fixed a date and I went to his place. It was my first time going there. He lived in a single-room apartment. He had a mattress that looked like it had been passed down from generation to generation, lying on the floor. He didn’t have a TV, only a standing fan. His room was so dirty that I asked for a broom and swept it, before sitting down on his couch. Half of the couch was occupied with dirty laundry. I was uncomfortable the entire time I was there. I kept wondering why he didn’t bother to clean when he knew that I was coming over.
He smiled shyly and said, “I don’t have anything to offer you besides a bottle of fruit juice, and a piece of bread.” I didn’t want to eat it but I also didn’t want to be rude, so I shared it with him. That day he proposed to me again. I asked him “Are you not dating my friend Akua?” “Oh no. Akua and I are just friends. And I have no interest in her. You can ask her if you don’t believe me.”
I didn’t believe him but I still wasn’t interested in dating him so I didn’t bother asking Akua. This time we continued to stay in touch. By 2019 I had learned that my friend was crushing on him but he wasn’t interested in her. I considered giving him a chance if he proposed to me again.
Later that year, he called to tell me he had moved to a new place. “You should come and see it.” So I went to his new place. It was better than the previous one. That day we talked and he proposed to me again. I was ready for him this time so I said yes. Our relationship had its sweet and sour moments. We hadn’t met each other’s family in the course of our friendship. So when we started dating, I introduced him to my sister. After that, we made plans for him to meet my family. But I couldn’t go through with it because something was off about him.
Every time I visited him, I’d see a woman’s belongings either hidden somewhere or just lying around in the room. The first time I asked, he said “My sister came to visit me, and left them here.” I had never met his sister but I had a feeling he was lying. This continued for a long time. One day I decided to go through his room to see if I would find anything that would give away the owner of the clothes. I searched the entire room and came across a marriage list. What broke my heart the most was, that he had bought the items on the list, and hidden them where he thought I wouldn’t look.
That day I cried till I felt there were no tears left in my tear ducts.
When he came home I confronted him about what I saw and he looked confused. I started crying while asking him “What did I do to you that you’ve deceived me like this? You are getting ready to marry someone but you are pretending I’m the only woman in your life. How did I offend you?” Harry also started crying, “I don’t know what you are talking about. I haven’t seen any marriage list or items in this room. Why don’t you trust me?” I showed him the list and the items and he insisted he didn’t know anything about them. Later he concluded that his sister must have hidden them in his room for safekeeping. I didn’t believe him but I didn’t have any evidence to prove he was lying either.
As fate would have it, I received a call from a lady named Betty in 2020. She introduced herself as Harry’s sister, “I have seen that my brother is always talking to you. When I ask him about you, he acts shy. Are you his girlfriend?” There was just something about the way she spoke that told me she is not Harry’s sister. To confirm my suspicions, I told her everything about my relationship with Harry. Her reaction to the vivid details I shared with her confirmed my suspicions. She told me “Harry is my fiancée. The marriage list and the items you saw are mine. All the clothes you’ve been seeing in his room are mine. We will be getting married in a few weeks. I’m sorry you are finding out like this.” She added Harry to the call and confronted him about his deception. He couldn’t talk, he just hang up.
After my conversation with Betty, I called Harry. He answered and said, “I will call you back.” He didn’t call me back till January 2021. He apologized, “I am sorry about what happened. I didn’t mean to lie to you. If you must know, Betty left me. She is married to another guy as we speak. If there’s a part of you that still loves me, please give me another chance to prove my love for you. Let me make things right by marrying you.” I told him no. This guy called my mother and pleaded with her to talk to me on his behalf. He sounded so sincere, but I just knew he was lying. I didn’t have proof of his lies so I called my friend Akua and asked her some questions about Harry’s marriage. She told me he was married and sent me his wedding invite and photos. He married Betty two months after she called me. I was shocked that Harry still had the guts to come back into my life with the intention to deceive me again.
I don’t know what I did to him to make him do that to me. My experience with him has made me wary of men. Whenever a guy approaches me, I think “He is a wicked man pretending to love me. I’m sure he’s probably married or has a fiancée.” I see all men as wicked creatures. At this rate, I’m sure I will never love again.