I met Jonah about a year ago. The first time I saw him I gawked at him. This guy looked like he was carefully sculpted by Michelangelo. His toned muscles and velvety dark complexion turned heads in his direction. I think his height too was part of the appeal. There is just this thing about tall guys that make women like me go weak in the knees. In addition to his physical appearance, he had good manners. We were not close but I watched him from afar. I saw how he treated everyone close to him with respect and kindness. The interesting thing was, even though I admired him, I didn’t have any romantic interest in him.
Our paths kept crossing until one day he approached me and introduced himself. “Hi, I am Jonah. I have been seeing you around but I’ve not had the pleasure of knowing you. If you give me your number, we can remedy that.” I responded, “I am Maame and I see you around too. But I don’t think there is a need for us to know each other so I am not going to give you my number.” He asked why and I told him that it just wasn’t necessary. He didn’t look happy when I walked away from him. I figured he wouldn’t speak to me again after that. But I thought wrong.
Jonah purposely put himself in my path after that encounter. He showed up everywhere I went. And made it a point to always ask me for my number. I also tried to ignore him and refused to give my number to him. He also didn’t give up his pursuit of me. At a point, I realized that he was enjoying our little game of back and forth. It was the logical explanation for why he kept coming back after I kept rejecting him. After a while, I stopped pushing him away. I gave him my number and we started talking. Along the line, he asked me to be his girlfriend. By then I had developed feelings for him so I said yes.
A few days after I accepted his proposal he sat me down for a deep conversation. “There’s something I need to tell you about my finances. Before I met you I lost my job. Following that, I lost all my life’s investment in a bad scheme. As I sit here I don’t even have a pesewa to my name. I am trying to get back on my feet but it’s taking longer than I expected. Please bear with me if I am not able to care for you financially.” I was touched by his honesty. I told him, “Thank you for telling me this. However, I want you to know that you don’t owe me any financial obligations just because we are dating. Besides, I have a job and it pays well. I will do my best to support you until you get back on your feet.”
After our conversation, I started providing for him financially even though I was furthering my education. I gave him an allowance every month. I gave him money to go to the barbering salon. I fueled his car even though he rarely gave me a ride. If he wanted to attend an event, I would bear the cost involved. I didn’t have a problem doing all of this until I realized that he was not trying to get back on his feet. Jonah enjoyed lying in bed and propping himself with soft pillows. He would watch TV until ECG turned the lights out. He was comfortable watching me work around the clock so he could afford to be lazy. I became concerned. I didn’t want a future with a man like that, so I addressed it. He told me, “Don’t worry. I have a plan. As soon as everything falls into place, I will be back on my feet.”
I couldn’t save. I couldn’t buy myself anything nice. I could no longer afford to enjoy my money the way I used to. I decided that if he won’t put any effort into helping himself then I would do it for him. I called my closest relatives and friends. I told them about my boyfriend’s financial misfortune. I pleaded on his behalf; “He is a very hardworking person and he is a fast learner. He can work in any department you assign him to. Please help him for me.” When one of the people I spoke to gave him a job offer, Jonah declined it. He said, “At this point in my life I don’t want to work for anyone.” I was furious. Who in their jobless mind will make this kind of statement? It was as if he didn’t know that one has to graduate high school before going to university. Why couldn’t he have accepted the job, and then saved money to start his own business? .
Even though I wasn’t happy with his behaviour, I still took care of him. I made sure he didn’t lack anything until last month. I had to make some pertinent expenses so I couldn’t afford to give him his full monthly allowance. I explained the situation to him but he complained bitterly. He asked me, “Do you have to make all those expenses this month? How am I supposed to get through the month with this small amount of money?” I was shocked that this guy complained about me using my hard-earned money for my needs. Instead of him saying thank you for the money I gave him, he felt I let him down. I didn’t like his behaviour but I loved him. I wasn’t ready to walk away from him.
Unknown to me, Jonah saw his upkeep as my responsibility. How did I find out? He sent me a text; “Maame I can’t continue this relationship anymore. You said you would support me financially until I get back on my feet but this month you disappointed me. You’ve proved that you are not reliable.” At first, I thought he was joking. I called him immediately after I read the text but he didn’t answer the call. I tried his number a few days after that but he never answered any of my calls. My texts went unanswered too.
After all the efforts I made to support him, he never appreciated it. He hurt me but I don’t wish him ill. Wherever he is, I hope he gets a job real quick and be able to rely on himself.