Moses was posted to my school for his National Service in 2014. I was eighteen and in SH$2 while he was twenty-nine. The first time he entered my classroom he walked up to me and asked, “What is your name?” Itold him my name and he said, “That’s my mother’s name too.” And then he proceeded to address the class and delivered his lessons. After that day, I started greeting him wherever saw him. That’s how our friendship began.
Though in hindsight I ask myself, “Was it really friendship? I was a teenager in high school while he was a man who knew the ways of the world. And he was eleven years older than me so what kind of friendship was that?” Anyway, our friendship continued until he finished his National Service and left my school. I thought he would move on and forget all about me but he didn’t. He visited me in school and we spoke on the phone whenever we got the chance. Not long after, I also completed school and went home. I had a lot of time on my hands while I was home waiting for my results so I could go to nursing school. I filled that time talking to him.
He asked me to visit him at home several times but I was scared he would touch me sol declined his requests. But he was persistent and eventually I gave in and went to visit him. As suspected, he touched me and did whatever he wanted to do but didn’t make a fuss about it because it wasn’t my first time being with a man. When I started nursing school, the frequency of our communication was altered. I no longer had the time to talk to him day and night. I was so busy that we spoke twice or thrice in a month. It wasn’t ideal for our relationship but it was the best I could do, seeing as I didn’t want to let him come between me and my studies. In my second year, he called and said, “Send me three of your best pictures. They have to be decent please.” I was confused because he had never asked me for my photos. When he realized that I hesitated he explained, “Oh it’s nothing, I just want to show them to someone.” He didn’t say more on the subject but I sent them to him. In my third year, I was busy using my laptop to do my project work when it started messing up.
I got frustrated but I remembered that my boyfriend is an IT person so l called him. A woman answered the phone saying, “Who is this? My son is asleep.” I calmly said, “I am Abigail, sorry for calling so late. I will call him in the morning” Upon hearing my response she smiled, “Oh Abigail, I have heard so much about you” We stayed on the phone for a while talking. She told me she couldn’t wait to finally meet me in person, and I also looked forward to meeting her. Later, she took my number from her son and called me from time to time to check up on me. One day she called me sounding excited, “Abigail my birthday is approaching, and the children are organizing a small party for me.
I understand that you are busy with school but I will like for you to attend the party”I told her, “Thank you for inviting me, mummy. I will do my best to be present.” I worked through my schedules and created space for this party. When the day arrived, I went to the party. The people present were her family and friends and Moses had travelled so he wasn’t there. This woman introduced me to everyone at the party as Moses’ fiancée. I wondered what her son had told her about me because marriage hadn’t come up in our relationship yet. But didn’t tell her that or try to correct her. I allowed her to introduce me to people however she wanted.
After the party, she had to leave town so she requested that we meet again but my schedule didn’t allow it. She was disappointed but she kept in touch with me. My relationship with Moses was also progressing though we had our ups and downs. My love for him grew stronger as time passed. Before I completed school, his mother suggested that he meets my family and we both agreed. Itook him home and my people embraced him as they would one of us. I even joked that my parents had fallen in love with him because of how often they asked of him. He accompanied me to family events a few times, and everyone just loved him.
Things were going well according to all standards and I was so happy. After I completed school Moses proposed, “Now that you are done with school we should start planning our marriage. By the time you complete your national service, we should be married” Hearing that only added to my happiness. He went for the mariage list and we started making preparations. When we bought everything on the list Moses started misbehaving. I don’t know what I did to him but noticed that he was pulling away. I asked him, “What’s going on with you? Are you fed up with me? Do you need space?” He said no but I gave space anyway.
That didn’t change his attitude so l started complaining to his mother. She would talk to him and he would change for a day or two and then go back to acting aloof toward the relationship. One day I visited him when he received a message from a girl. She said she had missed him and couldn’t wait to see him. My breath stopped, and I became weak all of a sudden because I never thought he was talking to other girls. Out of curiosity, I picked the number and called the lady. I didn’t quarrel with her. We just had a conversation. She told me that she wasn’t dating Moses and that they were just friends.
I apologized for calling her and told my man what did and apologized to him too for invading his privacy. He got angry and said he was punishing me by not talking to me for a week.I became devastated. I couldn’t eat or do anything that whole week. After the week passed, he started talking to me and our bond grew tighter. We set a date for our wedding but his mother wasn’t in the country so we postponed it. Another date was set and that one too was postponed. Then his attitude toward me changed again. I spoke to his mother about his behaviour and she told me, “Maybe he is acting that way because he is busy getting his documents ready to travel.
“Travel? Where is he travelling to?” l asked. That was when his mother realized that I didn’t know anything about his travel plans. I called Moses as soon as I finished talking to her. “Is it true?” I asked him, “Your mother was the one who told me.” He admitted that it was true and explained, “That’s why I keep postponing our wedding date.” I went to his house in tears. I asked him if he planned to leave me and he said no. I said, “Then put a baby inside me before you go. That’s the only way I will believe that you will come back for me.”
So we started the journey toward pregnancy. After a series of unprotected sex, in February, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I broke the news to him over the phone. His happiness mirrored mine, and he even sent me money to buy a cake. We talked and started making plans for the baby.
After that day Moses refused to answer my calls. I didn’t hear from him for a month until I decided to visit him unannounced. I went to his house and he ignored me as if I was an invisible ghost. I also refused to leave until he talks to him. Out of anger, he shouted, “I want the baby but I don’t want you anymore.” There and then I called his mother and told her everything. She promised to talk to him and so l went home and spoke to my parents too.
The next day his mother called me and said, “Moses said he told you long ago that he didn’t want you anymore but you went ahead and got pregnant. So right now what will you do about the pregnancy?” I was shocked. My parents tried to talk to them and get to the root of the problem but none of them answered their calls. My parents and aunts were ready to help me take care of the baby but I didn’t like how things were going. On 16th March, I gave up the idea of becoming a mom and took a pill to end everything.
No more baby, no more crazy love stories. I took it in the morning and in the evening, my mom called me. She said Moses called her and apologized for everything. Moses later sent me an apology message but I didn’t mind him.
He called at dawn to apologize but I told him I needed to rest. Early in the morning he called again and apologized but I told him it was too late. He is begging me to come back to him but I am happier without him. thought I couldn’t live without him but herel am, alive and strong. These days I get angry when men approach me butI know it’s just a matter of time before I am ready to love again.