I’ve been married for around ten years. We dated for five years before getting married, and now we have a lovely four-year-old child. Our relationship has been amazing overall. Of course, like any couple, we’ve had our ups and downs, but every time we faced a challenge, we managed to overcome it and become even stronger. Our friends often see us as the perfect couple too.
I have never doubted my husband’s love for me, and I have always done my best to show him my love in return. In the early years of our marriage, he wasn’t home much due to work, but things changed after he got a promotion, and he started spending more time with us.
We have always had open and honest communication, and I am already thinking about how to approach this issue with him. However, I would appreciate another perspective just in case someone else has dealt with a similar situation before.
Yesterday, while my husband was doing some acrobatic exercises in our backyard, something he does every day, I made a playful joke that he might leave me to become a monk.
He paused for a moment and replied, ‘maybe, after our daughter grows up.’ It could have been just a light-hearted response, but it left me with a strange feeling.
I continued teasing him, and he seemed a bit off-balance, which surprised me because he usually has excellent coordination. He asked me to leave him alone so he could focus on his exercises, which added to my unease.
Later that evening, during dinner, we had a conversation that deeply hurt me. He mentioned signs that indicated a change in our relationship.
He said that we haven’t been as romantic or intimate lately, and he even suggested that I might not be as attracted to him as before, which I believe is not true. He also talked about weeks of silence between us, but I honestly can’t recall such a period.
Although he has been busy with work and sometimes absent, I have been trying to balance my time and have only gone out with friends for dinner a few times a week. Occasionally, I may have prioritized spending time with friends or playing games over our alone time, but it has been rare, and we still had a good amount of time together. But what he said next broke my heart, and I almost burst into tears right there.
He calmly expressed, ‘I don’t think you love me as much as I love you, but that’s okay. We will raise our child, grow old together, and just exist until we pass away. I have other hobbies that make me happy, and it wouldn’t be fair to depend on you entirely for my happiness.’
His words deeply affected me, and even though I tried to explain how much they hurt, it seemed like he didn’t understand or didn’t want to acknowledge it. He had a blank expression on his face, which scared me.
Strangely, we slept in the same bed that night after putting our daughter to sleep, and he cuddled with me as if nothing had happened. It felt incredibly confusing and unsettling. I have put a lot of effort into keeping our relationship strong, so hearing these words from him has caused me immense pain.
What makes it even more distressing is that his description of our relationship reminds me of his parents’ marriage.
They are both bitter and have stayed together only for the sake of raising him. I have never witnessed any affection or love between them, except for a rare occasion when they showed some affection towards him.
He has always been adamant about not wanting our relationship to turn out like his parents’. In fact, a few years ago, he expressed how grateful he was to have someone who truly loves him and wouldn’t leave him over trivial matters. Hearing that reaffirmed my love for him.