I have been in a relationship with this guy for almost five I years. We met on Facebook and later became lovers. I ove him as If my very life depends on him. When we met, he was a student and I owned a shop. It was not a big shop but made a lot of sales at the end of every week. My boyfriend didn’t have much because he was in school. So, I supported him in the best ways that I could. When he needed bookS, I bought them. When he needed money to sort his life out, I was there for him. When he needed someone to sleep with, I said, Hey. here I am.
I’m all yours. Even when he was doing his national service, I was all he had. I got pregnant for him at some points. I told him about it and he said, “No this is not the time for us to be parents. Get rid of it.”I did. That wasn’t the only time. There were three other occasions that I got pregnant for him. He gave me the same reason; his financial situation wasn’t good and he wasn’t in the best place to have kids. In the end, I had to remove all these three pregnancies. It got to a point, my shop wasn’t doing well. Sales dwindled. I ran out of money. I put my all Into it but in the end, the shop collapsed. I’m not in a family that helps me in any way. My mom and dad died early. Those I was left In their care didn’t do much to provide for me.
I was on my own, trying to make ends meet. My boyfriend, therefore, became my family, my best friend, and my everything. When my shop collapsed, I needed a helping hand so l could stand on my own feet again. I had no one to turn to. My savings got depleted. I was completely broke. That was the point I met this white man who was willing to help me. His help wasn’t on a silver and platter. He made It clear right from the start that he wasn’t going to give me a free lunch.
“Something has to give,” he said. He wanted shuperu before he would help. I’m not proud to say this but I took him up on his offer. He named a place and time and I met him there. Immediately after the act, I took the morning after pull just to be safe. A few weeks later, I noticed my body changing. I’d been there before so I knew what was happening to me. I didn’t need a test to confirm that I was pregnant again. I did the maths. It taliled with the last time I slept with my boyfriend and so l told him about It; “It has happened again.” He gave me a quizzical look: “What has happened again?”I took a deep breath In and said that, “1 am pregnant. He screamed at me, “I thought you were on the pull.” answered, “The pill was messing up my system so I stopped taking it.” He said he, “Well you know what to do then. We are not keeping It.” I shook my head, “Not this time. I won’t do it for all the money in this world. I am keeping this one come rain or shine.
” He came at me with softness in his voice, “I am this close to joining the military. If I get in, you can have as many babies as you want. I can’t feed myself and you think I can take care of a child? Do you want to take care of me, yourself, and a baby? This once and the next one you we keep It.” The way he spoke to me pierced and through my hardened heart so I agreed to get rid of It.
20 22 MAY took pill but it didn’t work. I tried a few concoctions even though I knew it wasn’t safe. That too didn’t work. The baby just didn’t want to come out so I decided to let be. He was enlisted into the military and was in training when I started showing. His family didn’t know I was pregnant so I told them.
They offered to take care of me in their son’s absence. A few months into the pregnancy. I started bleeding and my water broke while I was nowhere near my due date. When I went to the hospital the doctor said, “Your sack is too weak to carry the baby. It would be best for you if we get rid of it.” After the concoctions I pumped into my body to push it out but it didn’t come, I Felt the baby was a miracle and I was going to keep it even If it cost me my life. I told the doctors, “No I don’t want it dead. Please find a way to save my baby.” The doctors admitted me and stayed in the hospital so they could monitor me. When my time was due, I delivered a healthy baby girl. Ten little toes, ten little fingers, a strong heartbeat, loud cry to indicate functioning lungs. The pills and concoctions took did not harm her in any way. I thanked God for that but there was a little
My daughter took after her father. No, not the one in the military but the white man. I screamed, “Yay! How am I going to explain this to him and his family? That two black people made a white baby? How is that possible? I didn’t wait for them to ask questions. I called a family meeting with my boyfriend’s family. At the meeting. I confessed my indiscretion and begged for forgiveness. When my boyfriend came home from training I told him what I did; “It happened only once. I needed the money because I was suffering. Right after that, I took a pill. I thought I did done enough to prevent pregnancy. Please forgive me. Im undeserved of your forgiveness but find a tiny spot in your heart and forgive. It was hard for him but slowly he let things go. To my utmost surprise, he didn’t break up with me. That was when I became convinced that our love could overcome whatever comes our way. Recently, I found out what he’s hiding from me. He has another girlfriend.
Their relationship is very solid. He has introduced her to his parents and they’ve accepted her. He spends time with her and his money on her. I barely see him. When I complain, he tells me he is busy with work. Sometimes he doesn’t call me for days and he doesn’t answer my calls either. I hear he is making marriage plans with her. I love him so much and it’s Killing me that he would choose someone else over me after everything we ve been through. The painful part is that he hasn’t been forthcoming with the truth. I have made sacrifices for this guy. Apart from that, I was that girl who got rid of babies for him just to keep his dreams alive.
All these have combined to weaken my reproductive system and I am only 22. I have spent five years of my life with him. I don’t even know who I am without him. I don’t want to lose him. What do I do? gel